even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
