HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
