and she was petting her beer can
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
