new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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