It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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