You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
