I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
