We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
