Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize