I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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