He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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