Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
