sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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