I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
