mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
