dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
