im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Green mimosas i think yes
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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