I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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