She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
