he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
