the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
