Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
