please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
My dick has a subreddit
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
