Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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