and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
