Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
