finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
