Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Randomize
