Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
