I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
So. Much. Porn.
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