no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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