So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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