well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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