My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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