That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
