Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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