1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
