can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
