No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Your penis caused this!
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
