i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
