Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
