i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I believe in your delicious
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
