She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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