Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
