U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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