if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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