Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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