What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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