Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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