Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
