I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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