I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
