I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
