i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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