What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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