her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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