South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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