carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
