Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
