Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
