I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
