Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
