ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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