she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
