I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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