Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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