i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize